Posts Tagged ‘naughty’

Attention please!

Well Gentlemen, I have some bad news and some good news.

Bad news first: I have to have an operation and will be out of circulation for a couple of months – and just in case anyone is wondering, no, nothing to do with my womanly parts or assets.

As the bible says “And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off,…” well, my gallbladder is offending me, so I am having it removed.

Good news is, if you are quick you can still see me before I am to be sliced and diced, so check out my availability on the left margin and come pleasure me up until Tuesday 15th June 2010.

Even better news: I’LL BE BACK! Naughty and sexy and ready to raunch and romp with a horny gent or two or more, but only one at a time so please form an orderly queue. I am happy to take reservations for late August by email from now on.

Oh, and I almost forgot – I’ll be coming back with new photos!

Hey, I’ll also have more time for blogging, so watch this space.

 

Today’s sexy phrase:

bedspring2“Love is not the dying moan

of a distant violin,

 

it’s the triumphant twang

of a bedspring.”

 

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S. J. Perelman

 

Sexy Quote of the Day

On my old blog I regularly posted a sexy quote or phrase that had caught my eye and I am resurrecting that today. So here goes:

Sex without love is an empty experience,
but as empty experiences go,
it’s one of the best.

17979 

 

Now for something completely different …

My lovely mum used to read limericks to me when I was a little girl and we both enjoyed trying to make ones up ourselves and had many a giggle over our ludicrous attempts.
Remembering those days my mother told me on the phone that she had found a book of limericks and had bought one for herself and one for me and it was in the post. ‘Oh, thank you, that should be fun’ I said, whilst thinking: ‘Oh mother, just what I need – more useless clutter!’

A couple of days later it arrived and I opened the book on a random page and started to read – and promptly dropped it. Uncertain whether my eyes were deceiving me I tried to find that page again, failed, so read a different verse – and another – and another.
I was ever so slightly embarrassed that my mother should be casting her stern eye over the same limericks and looking the book over I notice that printed on the cover of the little treasure is ‘FOR ADULTS ONLY’

Mums only remark about the saucy verses was: ’They’re not quite the way I remembered them’ to which I could only agree!

So sometimes when I am feeling glum I open 1001 Limericks and after reciting a couple of them, can’t help but smile, so have a little giggle yourself:

There once was a lady from Arden
Who sucked off a man in a garden
He said, ’My dear Flo,
Where does all that stuff go?’
And she said – swallowing hard – ‘I beg your pardon?’

PS: Those who know me will know why I chose this one. ;)